This Midwestern Life Rewrites "Oh! Susanna!"

My apologies to Stephen Foster. I have no idea how accurate the lyrics I am working from are because there seem to be a few different versions floating around the Internet.


I come from California
With a laptop on my knee
and now I live on the shores of the great lake they call Erie
Ohiofornia, you're the last place I'd thought I'd be
I cried all night
The day I left
The weather it was dry
The sun so hot,
but I nearly froze to death as soon as I hit Cle
But Ohiofornia, don't you cry

Ohiofornia, don't you cry for me
I've come to blog about you
with a laptop on my knee

I had a bowl of chili
down near the city of Cincinnati
At first I thought I had been served a bowl of spaghetti
I ate it even though it seemed silly
There it was in my mouth
The tear was in my eye
Says I, That'll be the last local food I  try
Ohiofornia, don't you cry

Ohiofornia, don't you cry for me
I still haven't seen a buckeye tree
and everyone here is nutty about THE Ohio State University

Ohiofornia, don't you cry for me
I sure do miss that big blue sea
and watching celebrities.