Double Book Review Thursday!*

Much patriotism. So funny. America.

As you may remember, I am a not-so active member of LibraryThing. The following reviews also can be found over there for the Early Reviewers group.

First up we have: Dog Whistles, Walk-Backs, and Washington Handshakes: Decoding the Jargon, Slang, and Bluster of American Political Speech by Chuck McCutcheon and David Mark.

Men's Eyes Were Made to Look, and Let them Gaze at My Ugly Lawn

My struggle with yard work is well-documented. 

Oh no! Nature is in my yard! Control it!

"Toil" is not high on my list of "things I like to do in my spare time." Call me a milennial, call me lazy, call me a bad neighbor, call me un-American, call me a princess, just don't call the city on me about my yard because IDGAF.

When the season turns and people start to gush: "I can't wait to get in that yard! I love being in the yard: weeding and planting!" it makes me shudder. I go outside and do the bare minimum but since the year is winding down the frequency of me going out to work in the yard has dwindled. This led to the front yard being a little shaggier than what's "acceptable."

Taco Seasoning for Dummies

For the purposes of this blog it’s not necessary for me to ponder the origins of the taco and all of the taco's accessories (not to be confused with literal taco accessories) because in the book Taco USA  the writer Gustavo Arellano does that in a chapter called: “How Did the Taco Become Popular Before Mexicans Flooded the United States.”

However, I will ponder taco seasoning. Let’s start with the oversized bottle sold at a club store.

I made this seasoning. It took two minutes.

When you aren’t feeding a family or throwing a party the club store’s oversized offerings can seem just a tad ridiculous. Sure, that giant bottle of taco seasoning isn’t going to rot on your kitchen shelf but how many tacos do you plan to eat? Do you plan to eat tacos everyday for the rest of your life? Are you going to feed every guest in your home a taco? Does your dog eat tacos?

These were the questions I asked a friend as he contemplated purchasing enough seasoning to last several lifetimes. He agreed it was unnecessary, besides a person can just buy packets of taco seasoning, right?

Wrong.

"Yes, But What Are You?"

Ethnicities are in aisle four next to the socks.

“Are you from Lebanon?”

The old man and his wife, behind me in line at the dollar store, asked me this question with no provocation.

He hadn’t heard my Arabic first name or my vaguely Mexican last name, a combination that normally causes the listener to tilt their head, squint, and ponder my ethnic background.

He hadn’t caught a view of my license.

I was in leggings and a track jacket on my way to yoga so there was nothing in my dress to indicate I wasn’t just a...woman in clothes on her way to somewhere.

I cheerfully replied, “Oh no! I’m from here! I’m American: born and raised!”

Then it happened. The thing that always happens when I say, “I’m American!” (or Mexican-American depending on how into this I want to get) - he didn’t believe me.

Fan Off, Fan On

Ceiling fan OF DOOM!

The temperature is making its way into the “can go outside without five layers of clothing” portion of the year (in Ohio that’s called road work season). We haven’t turned the AC on because the temperature isn’t oppressively hot yet. What we have done is turn on the ceiling fan in the bedroom.

Last night at bedtime David and I were presented with another example of how absurd I am:

David: “Do you want the fan off?”
Me: “No, we can leave it on.”

Then he turned off the bedside light and we settled in to sleep.

Oh, you think that’s a normal little exchange there? Just a bit of husband and wife bedtime routine? 

So I Married an Imperialist

Before we talk about my husband, David the imperialist, let’s talk about imperialism in general.

This is your brain on imperialism.

Here is the Wikipedia page about imperialism.

Nice isn’t it? Lots of maps and political cartoons. A collection of clear references and an extensive list of books for further reading. The page is fairly well done considering how skeptical we tend to be about information provided by Wikipedia.

It doesn’t even have that disclaimer at the top that indicates the page needs “cleaning up.”  The part on “German imperialism” does have a footnote that says: “This section needs expansion.”  Germany did try that once and it ended tragically; besides Russia doesn’t want Germany to have anything.

So with that said: Imperialism is when a powerful country (let’s call it the People’s Republic of Pie or the PRP) has a pie and decides they want another country’s pie (the ACP). We are talking entire pies here not slices because who wants just one slice?

Workin' on the Railroad

Hurray for nepotism!

There is only one way nepotism can be allowed in the workplace and it’s when the party (henceforth known as the “new hire”) who has benefited directly from the nepotism busts their ass to prove they aren’t a lazy scumbag.

Furthermore, that new hire will have to bust their ass even more if the person who secured the new hire their promotion or entry into the company is their superior and a family member.

I haven’t been a new hire for a long time but I have on occasion (every job I’ve ever had) in my past benefited from nepotism. It’s not who you know, it’s who you are related to by blood, yo.