Things that OH has that CA doesn't and Vice Versa

Now let's keep in mind that I have not seen all of CA or all of OH. The following comparisons are just little observations I happened to note.

Some of the streets in Lakewood,OH are paved with red bricks. It might have been just one street but still when we pulled out on to it David and I were scared.
Ohio has this really big freakin' lake. It's called Lake Erie and I thought "It's a lake how big could it be." Ummmm ya...really big. I thought maybe I would be able to see Canada from the shore and I couldn't. Yes folks, I am that dumb. The Pacific Ocean is huge and I can't see Japan from the beach. So what made me think I would be able to see Canada from the lake shore?

Ohio has "emergency snow streets" WTF are these streets purposes? Emergency vehicle routes? Emergency roads designated for snow landing only? It's about time they designated snow to land somewhere specific. They should really work on making that stuff illegal. There were also signs that had HC with a slash through it. What these signs meant we may never know. In fact now that David and I think about it the signs in Lorain County either explained to little or didn't explain enough. Some stoplights in Ohio are on wires. Yes wires...not posts. Must be some eastern thing.

CA still home to In n Out, not one to speak of in OH. Not a Jack in the box in sight either. Just Steak n Shakes and White Castles. Ewwww.

There are TREES in Ohio. GREEN TREES EVERYWHERE! It was like they were invading the yards and freeways.

Ohio has unified state pride when it comes to the Ohio state football team. Here we have five teams people pledge undying love for: The Trojans, The Bruins, The Golden Bears, The Cardinal, and The Fighting Irish. The rivalries make interesting family get-togethers.

Ohio is flat. California is not flat. Enough said.

Neither Impressed Nor Depressed

David and I touched down in Burbank this afternoon and oddly I did not throw myself from the plane and kiss the dry So-Cal ground. Sure, I was relieved to be home but I seem to have left Ohio in an apathetic mood and thus returned to my life here in So-Cal apathetically as well.

Ohio towns are just like towns in California. People live and work,they get gas and they go to Target. They wear jeans and shop at H+M while sucking down Starbucks. Well, some of you might say "Duh, Samina" and I don't care what you say. I was just glad no one called soda "pop" or forced me to wear a Lebron James jersey. I think I built Ohio up to be this foreign land when in reality it's just....normal. Maybe three days wasn't long enough to get a feel for the area. But this is what I realized: as the world gets bigger,population wise, it's actually getting smaller,it's becoming homogenized. There it may sound dumb but it's my mini-epiphany and again I don't care what you say.

We live in an era when big box stores and chains are thriving more or less. Yes, I know they have pushed Mom and Pops out. But think about it, big box stores and chains are experts at providing comfort and familiarity. When you are visiting a state you've never been to before you can seek solace in the box store. I visited the BN in Ohio and I felt at home. I knew I could open my mouth and ask for something,anything almost, and no one would think twice it would be handed to me and I would be sated. After you have lived in a town for a while, gradually, you will discover those fantastic holes in the wall. It is possible to sustain both kinds of retail in a community.

I told you I was working on knowing everything. What I know now is this: I think I could live in Ohio. I can't find a valid reason not to move. Am I still making the biggest of mistake of my life? Maybe. So long as there's a Target to catch me while I fall I think I just might pull through anything Ohio or life has to throw at me.

Ohio Night One: Just a Quick Note

Well, we made it. The car made it to Burbank, the first flight made it to Phoenix, the second flight to Cleveland. We secured the rental car and now we are watching the Cowboys and Eagles in our room at the Extended Stay. BTW, someone needs to tell DeSean Jackson that the football is "a baby, not a loaf of bread" you learn that in elementary football. You do not throw the baby away before scoring the touchdown.

Anyway,everything is fine. We didn't get lost, David even managed to get to Wendy's by himself. It is very green here and reminds me of Texas. However, I am looking at the environs with a super critical eye and also trying to imagine everything choked with snow. The houses look old and charming. Lots of brick with porches and lawns. No fences though, now that I think about it. I will write more as soon as I know more. Contrary to what I might tell you I don't know everything....yet.

Now is the Perfect Time to Panic

I was exhausted after work last night, my feet were sore and I was filthy with book dust. The impending trip to Ohio is bearing down on me quickly. But I knew the whole Ohio thing would happen super fast since the lease for the building was signed roughly two months ago. Each step to permanent relocation would fall like dominoes tipped by the finger of a sadistically gleeful child. But I was not prepared for the news David greeted me with last night when I settled into the car. "The boss thinks I'll be moving out permanently around October 1st," David said, then he added,"I wish I could just stay out there after this trip we take." David the sadistically gleeful child pushing the dominoes. I sat stunned,"But what about me...?" I whined. "You can come back by yourself." "I AM NOT COMING BACK ON THAT PLANE BY MYSELF!" I sat back in the seat and stared out the window into the darkness. Then I went into silent panic mode.

If David leaves at the beginning of October like projected it means we have three weeks left with each other. It means David has three weeks to get his sh*t together. Pack, secure housing, decide about his car. That also means, we will be getting married at the earliest March. F*&K!F&@k! If he leaves, how the eff am I going to get home after work each night, who is going to cook for me, HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE? Who is going to tell me TO CALM DOWN. I don't think David is panicking at all and if he is HE SURE AS HELL ISN'T SHOWING IT! I guess that's what bugs me the most about this Ohio thing is that from the beginning David has had faith that it is all going to work out. We will walk blissfully into Ohio sunset and then promptly fall into a snow drift never to been seen again by the fine folks of Lorain County.

Leaving in October is bad. Very bad. Is he jumping into this whole thing too soon? Is David ready to take on the responsibility of the warehouse? Can I live 5-8 months without him? Can he live that long without me? I can't leave in October with him. I have two jobs. I have mountains of laundry,piles of books to read. I haven't taken my last trip to Disneyland, to the beach, to my favorite malls. I haven't said good-bye to my family. I need to say good-bye properly to California. I'm not ready to leave for a 4-day trip to Ohio let alone ready to leave for permanent residence. I am terrified...am I making the biggest mistake of my life?

It's a nice day for an Anti-wedding

David and I never intended to get married. We agree that we both hate the word "wife" and that weddings are just a big show to prove to the world that the couple loves each other. Sometimes weddings are also about God but David and I are no longer practicing Catholics. Sometimes weddings are about the joining of two families David and I have spent time trying to get away from our families so yeah. Why are we getting married you ask. Good question. I ask myself that everyday. Normally, after I tell people that I am getting married and they (females mostly) squeal,hands clasped,eyes shiny, "Aren't you excited?!" I reply "Sometimes. You know it comes and it goes the feeling like you are going to vomit." I just don't see the point of it all. Unnecessary stress and money wasted for one day. David broke it down simply for me,"You can have a fancy dress and jewelery or you can have a house." Even if the house is in Ohio only a great fool would pick the former over the latter.

I immediately started eliminating things from my wedding. Wedding cake, indoor setting, bridesmaids,matching dresses/formal dress,the "wedding march",copious amounts of flowers and food, traditional vows,dance floor,"throwing the bouquet","first dances",an aisle,anything or anybody that/who needed to be rented,guests. I realized we were,at the earliest, going to be married during Lent. Again, David and I aren't practicing but some of our guests and family are, we wouldn't want you to break fast..for little ol' us no cake and booze for you! I have a friend who said it best.."When I get married I don't want it to be perfect.I want it to be private." I want that to be part of my wedding mantra.

David and I will have a small ceremony in his backyard. His oldest brother will officiate,his second oldest brother will be his best man and my best cousin will be my maid of honor. It will be short and simple and hopefully painless. We are not getting married because "it's time" or because of pressure or because I am pregnant,(Bristol Palin are you listening? Of course you aren't, the roar of the Republican Party is in your ears. ) We are getting married because we are taking a big step moving hundreds of miles away from our families and we will need each other in bad times and good times. Just like we have been for the last eight years. Nothing is changing for us just our location. Plus, who would pass up the chance to create a registry and get free stuff!

You Can't Take it with You

Two weeks from now at this time I will be on my way to Ohio. People calm down, you can turn down "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". David and I are only going out to VISIT. We are not going out FOREVER...yet (thank God). We will be visiting the Extended Stay America and the new building and whatever we feel like because there is NO ONE to visit out there.

Many years have gone by since I have flown and I am finding it difficult to decide what I should pack for a four day trip. Especially since we will be flying from a potentially boiling hot climate to a maybe cold/hot/moderate climate. Of course, the first thought that popped into my brain was "Dear God, what if it's SNOWING when we go?" I know that it is highly unlikely to be snowing in Cleveland in mid-September. BUT WHAT IF IT IS? You are reading the insane ramblings of a girl that doesn't own a pair of socks. A girl that would rather walk to work in pouring rain than carry an umbrella. I don't like to be bundled in layers but you wouldn't know it looking at my closet which is bursting with coats, cardigans and assorted cold weather wear that I never get to wear because it's always too hot out. AND THAT IS THE WAY I LIKE IT,DAMMIT! The short of this is: I don't like being inconvenienced. This four a day trip....a huge freakin' inconvenience.

I am struggling with the fact that I can't take unlimited clothes and shoes and I won't be able to take all of my cosmetics because they are more than the three ounce carry on limit. I am determined to only take a carry on. There will be no losing of my luggage because my screams would shatter glass. The next dilemma is: "Do I take my laptop?" The airline website says I can take a purse or a laptop. Easy, I shove a Lesportsac into my suitcase and take my lappy . Or I say that this pink covered monstrosity with a Gwen Stefani desktop is really David's. I should probably take it so we have internet access and we don't have to worry about reading a map. But if my lappy gets stolen out of the hotel room my screams will shatter glass.

This four day trip has already caused headaches,anxiety,sleep loss,anger and we haven't even left yet. Take all of those emotions, multiply them by a million and you get my thoughts and feelings about relocating permanently. Everything I own and everything I have bought recently has passed the "Do I want to take this to Ohio with me?" test. Material objects take on a whole new value when you are potentially shipping them across country or paying for them to be stored. Do I really need this thingamabob? I've got twenty. But who cares. No big deal. I don't really want more.