20 things I hate about this Apartment

1. The previous tenants
2. The tenant upstairs
3. postage stamp-sized kitchen
4. hastily laid brownish-orange carpet
5. Carpenter Ants
6. It's basement level
7. hot & cold fixture is backwards in shower
8. hollow, faux-wooden doors
9. the smell of wet carpet/old cigarette smoke
10. shady installation of ceiling in bathroom
11. kitchen cupboards are high & deep and too small for a box of Bisquick
12. 30 minute walk to civilization from the apartment
13. sensitive smoke alarm
14. little or no natural light
15. kitchen drawers are mismatched & off track
16. paper towel rack was installed directly under a light fixture
17. no kitchen counter space
18. last time it was painted was probably 10 years ago
19. only one of the two locks on the front door has a key
20. Its in Ohio

I have lived in worst places and better places. I once lived in a one room shack with a tiny bathroom behind a bigger house. I lived there with my brothers and my father. We had access to the front house so we had a kitchen. I am not complaining about that. I was a child and I accepted the current way of life. Plus, I was with my family.

I once lived in the living room of a house where I slept on a foam mat and kept my clothes in hutch. Still,not complaining. I had my brothers and I was in California.

I am complaining now because I am an adult. Quite frankly, I am too old for this sh*t. FYI, I have lived in an apartment before because I know everyone is going to say "Well,that's just apartment life for you." Eff you, I bet you live in a house, you lucky bastard.

David has Terrible Instincts

"Let me paint this picture for you, baby. You spend your nights alone and he never comes home..." Okay, obviously I am getting ahead of myself there with the JT lyrics. But let me tell you what what happened at Bob Hope Airport also known as Burbank.

On the way to Burbank, where David and I will catch a flight to Vegas and then on to Cleveland, we have to drop off one of David's brothers at the Van Nuys airport to get a shuttle to LAX so he can fly back to NYC. One might think this is a classic case of missing a flight because one didn't give themselves enough time but it isn't it. After we went to the wrong airport in Van Nuys, the GPS on my cell phone fails and David's GPS dies, we call home get directions and get my brother-in-law on his way.

David and I get to Burbank. David gets turned around like twice trying to drop off the rental car. Even after I point out the rental car place to him. David tells me he has terrible instincts. Finally, we have put his problem into words for ten years I have tried to figure out what was wrong with him. One thing worked in our favor, the computer system was down, so we didn't have to fill out any paperwork or pay for the rental. They just took David's email and sent him the bill later. It was all down hill from there at Burbank.

At the gate, ten minutes, before we are to board. David leaves his bag with me to search for a restroom. I notice that David turns toward the entrance and security instead of turning the opposite way. The way that would take a person deeper into the airport far, far away from security. I shrug. They call pre-boarding, they call the first group to board (us) and still no David. Every time they announce a group to board I think,"Okay, any minute now David is going to come back." He doesn't. I chat politely with the lady next to me who is also waiting for her husband. Her husband shows up and mine is still nowhere to be found. I let the flight crew know what I am waiting for my husband. I try calling him and texting. His phone is off. Wonder-freakin-ful. I start to panic. The flight crew just smile, laugh and reassure me. They laugh when I tell them we have been married for four days. Yes, I am newly married but I have known David for ten years. Where the %$#& is he? I am trying not to cry at this point. I am so scared and all I can tell myself is "Don't get on the plane. Stay in the state of California. If David never shows up you can call your brothers and go home. If you get on that plane the further you are from help." Now, we are holding up the whole flight. Then he finally comes running his jacket and belt in his hands and no shoes. They won't let him on the plane without shoes. He runs back and gets them. He drops his wallet boarding the plane. Dude on Tarmac has his back. I am still trying not to cry. I do not talk to him or look at him the whole 45 minutes to Vegas. Other than to tell him I am going to kill him, as quietly as possible, so the passengers don't freak out.

Turns out, that David crossed a red line on the floor and was not allowed back in to the airport. He had to go through security again. He couldn't go back through security because he didn't have his boarding pass. It was with me in his bag. He had to get his boarding pass reprinted. Thank God, he had his ID with him or he wouldn't have been able to get his boarding pass. Its funny now. Everyone we tell,just chuckles when we tell them. But it sure as hell wasn't funny at the time.

Really, Now is the Perfect Time to Panic

Well, would you look at the time. It's before 10 AM and if there is one thing I hate more than anything, it's being up before 10 AM. Why are you up so early, Samina? Give me a few minutes of your time and I will tell you all about it.

A month ago I arranged for a portable storage unit to be dropped off today between the hours of 8 AM and 12 PM. This is how I am getting my 3 bookshelves, 2 dressers, 40 zillion t-shirts and LAMB handbags to Ohio. A dude in a truck brings the unit to my house, he pulls it off the truck with a forklift and drops it in my driveway. I now have three days to fill this metal box with my stuff. When I am finished filling it up, I call the dude, he picks it up and they drive it to Ohio. I unload my stuff in Ohio they pick up the unit and done. Awesome Possum.

A week ago I called and made an appointment to get married at the local courthouse at 2 PM today. I made the appointment for 2 PM because I figured the storage unit would get dropped of relatively early in the day and I wouldn't have to rush home after the courthouse thing.

David got in late last night. Of course, I stayed up late with him and his family. I came home and finished the last itty bitty bit of packing. After getting 5 hours of sleep I woke up at 7:15 AM to make sure I was awake just in case the truck came right at 8 AM. Because God knows had I decided to sleep in a little the truck would have been early. I get a call just a few minutes after 8 AM, "Yeah, the truck is on it's way!"I thought, then I actually pick up the phone and the company dispatcher dude asks me if they can move my appointment until after 3 PM.

I take a breath and think quickly,"Okay, this...this is not a big deal. This is fine. After 3 PM is great. I am 95% packed, everything is taped up and ready to go. My brothers and father are home. Someone will be here to meet the driver. IT JUST MIGHT NOT BE ME BECAUSE I HAVE TO GET MARRIED AN HOUR BEFORE THE EARLIEST DROP TIME!" So I tell the dispatcher that and I tell him that I live on a small street and that is why I scheduled it early so there would be less cars on the street. Dispatcher dude seems confident delivery dude can make the drop.

I guess I could have thrown a fit. I have thrown fits over lesser but I have a feeling, since dispatcher dude said they were short-handed, no fit I could have thrown would have made a difference. Plus, when customers throw fits the people who help them tend to be less likely to help if the customer is a bitch. All I can do is keep breathing, keep thinking that somewhere I will be rewarded for my waning patience. Until then I will call David and bother him. Now, if only he would turn on his phone.

Almost there... just a little bit further

The last few weeks have been tough. I had a cold or a sinus infection, something gnarly, that left me with a sore throat, a throbbing head and the sniffles. My insomnia has been terrible. My little brother finally confessed that his girlfriend is pregnant again. I am upset that I will not not be around for my second nephew's arrival. I am leaving my first nephew, my 17 month old godson, just as he is beginning to remember me and be comfortable in my presence. I visited my grandmother and she told me about how every other house on the street I live on was once occupied by relatives. Nothing like leaving 100 years of history behind!

Everyone keeps asking me questions. What should I wear to your party? I feel like such a bitch and a brat. Honestly, I don't care. Do you still fit into your prom dress? Do you want to wear it? Great! Do you want to wear jeans and a parka? Awesome. Come dressed as the Easter Bunny! What should I bring? Pizza? Cool. Cool. Whatever. Can I bring buckets of KFC Chicken? I don't see why not. I think everyone is afraid of doing the wrong thing, but it doesn't really matter,because I have already made Emily Post roll in her grave so many times she should be good for the next 2,000 years.

I keep getting asked about being nervous or excited. Nope, feeling pretty calm. I want to pack up all my stuff. So I can bitch about not having my stuff. Just want to get on the plane. Then I can bitch about wanting to get off the plane. Yup, I really want to get to Ohio. So I can bitch about being in Ohio and not in California. I'm trying to cut my losses here,people, not count up winnings

Happy is not my natural state of being. I try to work on being. Living with the current moment. Not for it. I think the saddest part of all of this is tomorrow. Tomorrow, will be the first time in six months since I've seen David, I am going to give him a great big hug and cuddle up to his ear and whisper,"Did you bring your checkbook?".

Just Checking In

There has been a gigantic gap in my blog because I have been in a gigantic state of not doing anything blog worthy.

I have been officially unemployed for a week now. I am learning to manage my time and my remaining money. I am so good I passed on a $300 LAMB cardigan at Nordies yesterday. That cardigan took my breath away and it hurt my heart to walk away from it but I knew I had to leave it in the Savvy Department. Even though, I could see myself wearing it with cargo pants and my leopard print wedges and stepping off the plane in Ohio and feeling like a million bucks. A million bucks poorer.

A week ago I took my absolutely, positively LAST trip to Disneyland. It was my birthday and I took advantage of Disneyland's get in for free on your birthday promo. I went with 4 other people and since it was a special occasion we ate at the Blue Bayou, the restaurant located next to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. I had the Port Royal Mahi Mahi. The meal was expensive and time consuming. So its not something I would suggest doing every time you visit Disneyland unless you have spare money and time to burn. But definitely worth doing at least once. All in all a good time.

Yesterday, I met a British girl who had no idea where Ohio was in relation to California. I did my best to show her with my hands. I laid one hand flat on the counter, that was California, and I made my other hand into a fist and placed it on the counter up and away from my flat hand. I told her the length of the plane ride and how many miles away. She wished me luck in a genuine voice and didn't pull any faces when I said Ohio. It was refreshing to have someone not make an "ewww" face when I said "Ohio". That same shopping trip, in another store, I was helped by a salesgirl whose family is from Ohio. I should have sent her to the store down the block with the British girl. Maybe the British girl would have gotten a better lesson about American geography from the salesgirl.

Mostly, I have been packing and running errands. Bothering David and hanging out with my brothers. Everyone always wants to know how the wedding stuff is going. I guess its going fine. We are in a state of limbo right now because we can't set anything up in the yard. Nothing big has to be finalized, we really aren't doing too much planning or decorating. So the week of, when out of town guests start arriving and "THE BIG DAY" hits that is when the all the action is going to happen. For now we wait and watch the weather reports. We wait and watch the gifts on the registry get bought up. I wait for the day when David gets home and I can breathe again.