Sugar Detox Day 5: The Teeth Gnashing and the Rage

Today is Day 5 on a 21 Day Sugar Detox.

I hate the word "detox." This sugar detox is also no carb, low carb whatever I don't even know

Do you see these snacks? I can't have any of these snacks.

anymore because I have a headache. A headache they say will go away by Day 5. That's nice. My headache started on Day 5. You know what would fix that headache? SOME CARBS!

Oh, did you like carbs? Did you spend the last seven years cleaning up your diet so the only cracker you can eat is a Triscuit?  Because a Triscuit only has three ingredients and no HFCS.

Sorry. None of that here!

How about a tortilla?  Can I have that?

Nope!

You can have guacamole! BUT NOT TORTILLA CHIPS! Well, wtf? Am I suppose to just eat the guacamole straight out of the bowl with my hands? You can have kale chips! *death stare*

I swear someone needs to invent one of these detoxes for a Mexican.