David has Terrible Instincts

"Let me paint this picture for you, baby. You spend your nights alone and he never comes home..." Okay, obviously I am getting ahead of myself there with the JT lyrics. But let me tell you what what happened at Bob Hope Airport also known as Burbank.

On the way to Burbank, where David and I will catch a flight to Vegas and then on to Cleveland, we have to drop off one of David's brothers at the Van Nuys airport to get a shuttle to LAX so he can fly back to NYC. One might think this is a classic case of missing a flight because one didn't give themselves enough time but it isn't it. After we went to the wrong airport in Van Nuys, the GPS on my cell phone fails and David's GPS dies, we call home get directions and get my brother-in-law on his way.

David and I get to Burbank. David gets turned around like twice trying to drop off the rental car. Even after I point out the rental car place to him. David tells me he has terrible instincts. Finally, we have put his problem into words for ten years I have tried to figure out what was wrong with him. One thing worked in our favor, the computer system was down, so we didn't have to fill out any paperwork or pay for the rental. They just took David's email and sent him the bill later. It was all down hill from there at Burbank.

At the gate, ten minutes, before we are to board. David leaves his bag with me to search for a restroom. I notice that David turns toward the entrance and security instead of turning the opposite way. The way that would take a person deeper into the airport far, far away from security. I shrug. They call pre-boarding, they call the first group to board (us) and still no David. Every time they announce a group to board I think,"Okay, any minute now David is going to come back." He doesn't. I chat politely with the lady next to me who is also waiting for her husband. Her husband shows up and mine is still nowhere to be found. I let the flight crew know what I am waiting for my husband. I try calling him and texting. His phone is off. Wonder-freakin-ful. I start to panic. The flight crew just smile, laugh and reassure me. They laugh when I tell them we have been married for four days. Yes, I am newly married but I have known David for ten years. Where the %$#& is he? I am trying not to cry at this point. I am so scared and all I can tell myself is "Don't get on the plane. Stay in the state of California. If David never shows up you can call your brothers and go home. If you get on that plane the further you are from help." Now, we are holding up the whole flight. Then he finally comes running his jacket and belt in his hands and no shoes. They won't let him on the plane without shoes. He runs back and gets them. He drops his wallet boarding the plane. Dude on Tarmac has his back. I am still trying not to cry. I do not talk to him or look at him the whole 45 minutes to Vegas. Other than to tell him I am going to kill him, as quietly as possible, so the passengers don't freak out.

Turns out, that David crossed a red line on the floor and was not allowed back in to the airport. He had to go through security again. He couldn't go back through security because he didn't have his boarding pass. It was with me in his bag. He had to get his boarding pass reprinted. Thank God, he had his ID with him or he wouldn't have been able to get his boarding pass. Its funny now. Everyone we tell,just chuckles when we tell them. But it sure as hell wasn't funny at the time.