So I Married an Imperialist

Before we talk about my husband, David the imperialist, let’s talk about imperialism in general.

This is your brain on imperialism.

Here is the Wikipedia page about imperialism.

Nice isn’t it? Lots of maps and political cartoons. A collection of clear references and an extensive list of books for further reading. The page is fairly well done considering how skeptical we tend to be about information provided by Wikipedia.

It doesn’t even have that disclaimer at the top that indicates the page needs “cleaning up.”  The part on “German imperialism” does have a footnote that says: “This section needs expansion.”  Germany did try that once and it ended tragically; besides Russia doesn’t want Germany to have anything.

So with that said: Imperialism is when a powerful country (let’s call it the People’s Republic of Pie or the PRP) has a pie and decides they want another country’s pie (the ACP). We are talking entire pies here not slices because who wants just one slice?



Acquiring this extra pie isn’t a problem for the PRP because the ACP is weaker or is not home when the PRP comes in and takes the pie off the windowsill.  The ACP might shake their fist (not to be confused with saber rattling) at the PRP but that might be all the ACP can do; it may not ever regain its pie.

It’s not necessarily important why the PRP wants more pie. They may want it for several reasons but the point is: they are going to take it and say it’s theirs now. They will shrug at anyone who dares expose the injustice of taking other people's pie without permission.

The PRP may say something like:  ”This pie has belonged to us all along!” or “The people who have this pie identify with us and need our guidance.” or maybe “This pie is full of oil!”

Now why David thinks that is a permissible scenario is unclear because I know he wouldn’t like it if we had pie and someone took it from us. David does not sympathize with dictators or extremists. He does not condone violent uprisings.

So it’s not that he completely agrees with the ideology but that he is interested in how it plays out among countries in the modern world and how it has occurred historically.

One of David’s interests has always been imperial powers specifically Russia. His Russophilia is well-known among our family and friends. Last month we had some friends over for dinner and they inquired if we were watching the Olympics and “the motherland.”

This is the Russia shelf in our bookcase: a mix of Russian literature and Russian History. Those two titles are facing out because there is no room on the shelf for more books.

This is our set of Russian leader shot glasses.

Here is a picture of our “refrigerator Putin” his caption gets updated as the news cycle changes. Right now it says: “Oh you can’t have any Euros. Crimea river.” Last month it said: “For the shire! For Sochi!”

Why then did it come as a surprise to me when David did not react with the same amount of shock I did about what is going on in Ukraine? Naturally, I thought he would agree with me in that there is no place for imperialism in our world anymore thanks to technology and globalization.

I don't think David’s love of Russia is a cover for nefarious political ideology. Likewise, if he was interested in Italy I wouldn’t think he was a fascist. But that’s the thing about love, you have to take the good with the why don't you agree with me on everything.