Aunt Samina's Treasury of Cursory Nursery Rhymes

Last week, or whenever the last time it was I couldn't fall asleep, I rewrote "Oh! Susanna!" This week

Not available wherever books are sold!

I have taken the liberty to re-write a handful of nursery rhymes (think This Little Piggy Went to Prada) for geeks, nerds, and Internet junkies. 

These rhymes are suitable to sing to your precious angels while you are simultaneously begging them to fall asleep so you can scamper off to play Dwarf Fortress or drink or whatever it is you do in your spare time.

These rhymes may not be factually correct so feel free to correct any misinformation via the comments if you are a geek, nerd or Internet junkie.

(sing the ABC song: A B C D E F G etc)
Those are the letters of our Anglo-Saxon based ABC's
dating all the way back to the fifth century AD.
Next time won't you sing with me!


This old man, he played one,
He played a song called “Under my Thumb”
With a hip swivel, butt wiggle
while holding a microphone,
This old man was a Rolling Stone!

    Twinkle, twinkle, little rocky planet or ball of gas,
     How I wonder how many times Kepler has seen you pass.
     Up above our world so high,
     You could be a habitable planet in the sky. 

Little Miss Stefani was wearing Armani
walking the red carpet one day
Along came a reporter
who got a bit too close to her
and made Miss Stefani inch away


Old Martha Stewart
Went to the cupboard,
To fetch herself a scone;
While she was there,
she decided to have an eclair,
And so Martha Stewart had one.