Fan Off, Fan On

Ceiling fan OF DOOM!

The temperature is making its way into the “can go outside without five layers of clothing” portion of the year (in Ohio that’s called road work season). We haven’t turned the AC on because the temperature isn’t oppressively hot yet. What we have done is turn on the ceiling fan in the bedroom.

Last night at bedtime David and I were presented with another example of how absurd I am:

David: “Do you want the fan off?”
Me: “No, we can leave it on.”

Then he turned off the bedside light and we settled in to sleep.

Oh, you think that’s a normal little exchange there? Just a bit of husband and wife bedtime routine? 

We do not keep fans on in the room at night because the sound bothers me. I know there are people who can’t sleep without the white noise of a fan. However, I’m the sort of person that has been kept awake by pleasant aromas like broth simmering in a slow cooker in another room.

Now back to last night. Not even one minute passed before the terror crept into my brain.

Me: “I changed my mind, I want the fan off.”

Neither David nor I moved to turn off the fan. David laid there contemplating fulfilling my request or telling me get up and do it. He contemplated catering to my insanity or forcing me to cater to it.

David: “It’s nice. We should leave it on.”
Me: “But what if the blades fly off and hit us in the face while we sleep?”

Silence ensued as David contemplated this new development.

David: “Do you really think that is going to happen?”
Me: “I don’t know. It could. I told you my fear so if it happens you’ve been warned. I will remind you that you scoffed. That you scoffed at me!”

We left the fan on and this morning we woke up with our faces intact.

But we can now add “ceiling fan” to the list of appliances in the home I am convinced are going to kill me. I’m not alone in my fear of the fan.