My Week With Dave: Part Two

While we waited out the pain I did what David would call "fussing over him." Leaving him alone for an hour or so, going about my day, and then checking on him. I would force him to eat or get him a book. David hates to be "fussed over" but the only reason I was doing it was to try and train him to ask for help. I wasn't bothering him because I'm an overbearing and bored bitch. I was doing it because way out here 2,000 miles away from our families all we really have is each other. We have plenty of kind friends that helped us through the week. I tip my hat to them for all they did. But in situations like this hour by hour David has only me.

One thing I had to do was drive to David's work, pick up his assistant manager, bring him to the house and give him the van to use while David was on the injured list. David's assistant manager only has one car, which he shares with his wife, so it was a lot easier to loan him the van I can't drive to ensure there would be someone to hold down David's work fort. While I was gone David managed to crawl to kitchen for a beer, eat some pumpkin pie, watch NFL analysis and then make his way back to bed after exhausting himself. One would think that this shows improvement but I didn't see real improvement until days later.

Slowly, David regained mobility. He was moving faster, the pain shifted from his back to ribs. He even managed to go outside and walk, upright, to the end of the driveway. I took all of these as good signs. He was still in pain but I could see improvement even if he didn't feel 100% better. I kept telling him, "This is a process. You aren't going to be completely better right away. This is the worst I have ever seen you hurt your back and that includes the time you hurt yourself watching the NFL Draft. But you are getting better trust me when I say that. Just be patient."

David caught up on his reading during this respite. I saw that he was having difficulty holding books so I offered to read to him. David is fond of the most boring, esoteric works of non-fiction I have ever seen. I read aloud to him from History of the Persian Empire by A.T. Olmstead. Which Mr. Olmstead would have been better off calling: The Complete & Mothereffin' Unabridged History of PERSIA; It's Surroundings and Starring all Your Favorite Greeks, Barbarians, Mercenaries, Egyptians and Satraps with Unpronounceable Names
Does not include a pronunciation guide so if you aren't versed in the dead languages just give up. Buy a magazine and a can of Four Loko to help you forget about the failure of your pathetic public school education.

One of David's pet peeves is "people who stumble over words while reading aloud" so I understand why he declined the first few times when I asked to read aloud. Anyone would have trouble with names like Sopd, Artaxerxes, Xerxes, Tiribazus and Evagoras. I was so lazy I started to call Evagoras "Eva Longoria", Artaxerxes "Bob" and Xerxes "Bob's Dad". Whenever I came across a word I could pronounce I would get really excited. Maybe I wasn't so dumb after all! But then there would just be another name I couldn't say ready to strike me down. That's why I like the books I read, the fluffy chick-lit and quick memoirs. If you come across a word you don't know all you have to do is pick up a Barney's catalog. Words like "Blahnik","Louboutin" and "Hermes" are so much easier to understand when you can just substitute the word "shoe" or "scarf".