This Midwestern Life

In the wonderful land that is California there are no toll roads. Just blissful, uninterrupted (barring traffic) miles of freeway. Except for the toll roads I never saw because I don't drive and they weren't between me and Disneyland. That must mean they are up north in California or something. Unfortunately, here in Ohio and most of the Midwest there exists this toll road thing. I don't understand toll roads. We pay taxes to keep the roads maintained, right? So why do we need to pay extra money to use the road?

David and I do an extremely small amount of long-distance driving which means we don't use the toll roads often. The one time we did travel I made sure we were prepared with a plastic baggie of coins. I didn't want to be one of those motorists holding up the line while they struggle to extract 45¢ from a sticky cup holder.

Ohio has the granddaddy of toll road luxury: The Ohio Turnpike. I don't know if I have ever officially been on the turnpike. The Wikipedia article says it costs $10 dollars to use the turnpike. I think I would have remembered paying $10 to drive down a stretch of flat highway. But it doesn't matter if I have been on the turnpike or not because I have this nifty little piece of kitsch a friend in California found. She gifted it to me when I was in California.



Is that not the most awesome piece of souvenir crap you have ever seen? It's a tiny, spiral-bound book published by our friend's at the Howard Johnson Company describing the wonder and modernity that is The Ohio Turnpike "The World's most modern super highway".

Let's take a look inside:

"Interior of one of the Howard Johnson dining rooms. Here one may dine and relax in air-conditioned comfort."


Look at all the fancy white people eating in air-conditioned comfort! Jealous that you don't live in the Midwest in the 1950's or 60's or whatever by-gone era far better than the one we live in now?

Look at how flat and green Ohio is when it's not covered in snow! Marvel at the wonder that is the Strongsville-Cleveland Interchange. (If nothing has changed since the Complacent Era this might be the stretch of turnpike David and I traveled to get to NYC. No wait we went by Youngstown not Strongsville. Strong, young. Same difference.)

This concludes our short jaunt over the Turnpike. Obviously, I didn't show you all of the book. Mostly because my camera phone doesn't take the highest quality of pictures and let's face facts: If you have seen one turnpike you have seen them all.

If this journey has whetted your appetite for The Ohio Turnpike I invite you to to pack the kids into the station wagon and go for a long, boring ride into the Midwest. If you manage to make it all the way I'll greet you at the end with some pop and a sloppy joe.