California Edit

Soon after posting my ramble-y "back from So-Cal" update it occurred to me that there were some anecdotes that needed recording for posterity. So here is another oddly written break-down.

Over the winter, let's be honest entire year I've been sitting on my ass doing nothing, I put on a little weight. I knew some family members were going to comment on the gain. I thought for sure that would be the first thing out of my mom's mouth when she saw me but it wasn't. However it was one of the first things out of my godfather's mouth and grandmother's. I just put on a big smile and said, "Thanks for noticing. I am working very hard to lose some of it." Most people assured me I looked the same. Bless them!

I mentioned that we spent the week in two different houses. David at his parents' and me at mine. This confused several people. It prompted my godfather to ask, "Wait, aren't you guys married?" This was after he told me I'd gained weight. David replied, "I'm on vacation from work and Samina." Fair enough.

I know my in-laws were disappointed that I didn't spend more time at their house. I totally meant to spend at least one night at their house but that just didn't happen. Yet another slight I will have to correct when I visit again. It's probably a good thing I didn't spend much time at my in-laws because my two-year-old niece was there and for some reason I couldn't get it through my thick head that my sister-in-law didn't want her daughter going home with the vocabulary of a Quentin Tarantino film. I did my best to stop swearing but yeah... something to work on for next time. Well, if I'm not putting my foot in my mouth or offending people with my actions it wouldn't be a genuine Samina encounter now would it?

My mother had a few of my things. So I walked into the house grabbed a cardboard box, shook it at her and said, "This box I want all the stuff you have of mine in this box before I leave. You have a whole week. This includes but is not limited to: my black dress from Target, the Virgin Mary belt bought on clearance from Hot Topic when they were remodeling that goes with the dress, the Hello Kitty necklace I wanted to wear at my wedding party but couldn't because you had it, the gold chandelier earrings that look Indian, the white Lucky Brand Mexican jacket repro and my CD's."

A whole year went by without those items and I don't forget shit like that. I still didn't get my CD's back. I also bought stuff, added it to the box and shipped that box to myself. When the box got to Ohio yesterday two winter hats were not in the box. "Damm it all where the fuck did I put those hats?", I muttered and immediately called my mom. Blamed her and screamed, "Now it will be another year before I get my hats!". Everyone at home in So-Cal was on red alert for these hats. I spent all day kicking myself and retracing my steps. It took me eight hours or so but at midnight I got out of bed, shook out the extra sweatshirt I shipped and the hats fell out of the folds. I woke David and he said, "Lol. That's great. Now can you turn off the light so I can sleep?" I also texted my family so they would stop looking for my hats.

Let's see what else. Oh yes, when I went shopping with my mom and cousin I had to stop into the Hello Kitty store and say hello to the owner. Mom is an old-school HK addict and the owner knows I live in Ohio because they talk like old pals. So I'm probably the only girl who goes on vacation and has to add "Visit with HK owner" to the to-do list. Don't you visit shop owners on your vacation? You know it's right after, "See grandma so she can tell you that your ass ain't got nothing on Kim Kardashian's".