It has been two years since I've had a paying job. I've done a lot of poking around since then. Poking at getting another job, going to school, or just staying put as some sort of a housewife/bookworm/layabout. Friends often ask how David feels about my lack of employment. Honestly, he doesn't care if I work or not. He just wants me to do what I think is best. If only I could figure that out.
What kind of job can a person get when they have no real skills and everything they enjoy is antiquated? I think about my hobbies and abilities and I have two options:
1. Go back to retail
2. Go to school for a degree in...?
Option #1: Though it's been some time since I stood on my feet for eight hours assisting people who wasted my time, left trash everywhere, and destroyed my work everyday I could easily go back. A clothing store, department store, specialty shop or even back to Stables & Grand Booksellers. At least, I could have gone back to S&G before their core competencies shifted from actual books to e-readers. I know, in my heart, I can never work at S&G ever again. If I had really wanted to stay with them I would have moved up the management ladder when I had the chance instead of staying a glorified book waitress. So that leaves some other store.
I'm hesitant to apply to any store that upon seeing my retail experience will give me a managerial position. I never was a key holding, cash handling manager at S&G. That's what I loved about the job. I was simply a lead on the book floor. But let's talk about the real reason I haven't applied at any retail establishment since I moved: Retail sucks. Sure, it can have its merits: flexible schedule, good discounts, good for active/social types. But really, it sucks. At its best retail is tedious and unforgiving. Retail has become so unforgiving that some employers give an applicant an online personality test to screen them before granting an interview. On a whim, I applied for a job at a store (let's call it KDNickel) took their online personality test only to find myself failing it. I guess I wasn't "rah rah I love KDNickel!" enough for them. I guess having four years retail experience, being honest and hardworking isn't good enough for KDNickel. Nope, you might not be able to string a sentence together but if you shop exclusively at KDNickel you're in. I hate you retail.
Option #2: The thought of enrolling in any sort of institute of learning makes me want to scratch my eyes out. I don't want to do the paperwork, jump through the hoops, and part with the bags of cash. Furthermore, I don't want to graduate in 3 to 6 years with a degree that doesn't guarantee anything other than I can sit in a chair and turn assignments in on time. Yes, a degree might increase my chances of securing employment in a chosen field but it might not. Not to mention the fact that I don't even have a freakin' clue what to go to school to study. I'm not one of those people that can flit around campus trying this and trying that until I arrive at a major. When and if I go to school I am going to go, get it over with, and be done forever. I might be looking at school the wrong way. Maybe I should just suck it up and try it. You never know, I might like it. Or I might want to scream and hide in my house for a few years until I can mix with the general population without hissing.
There is still time for me to work it out. Soon we will start the costly and time consuming home searching/buying process. Not a search I want to start with a new job or full semester of school. Until then I will keep twiddling my thumbs and meditating on my next step.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment