And Many More

Birthdays become exponentially less awesome as we get older. There are those among us who try to keep birthdays alive and well. The girls who wear tiaras to work and then to the bar. The boys who treat themselves to an expensive electronic toy or piece of sports equipment. As if these gestures will mask the fact that time is marching on and birthdays are not just as fun as they were when we were six years old.

I had a birthday this month and it was my first birthday not in California. That means no family, no Disneyland and no shopping at my favorite malls to celebrate. Instead, I spent the day feeling...odd. David and I both sort of forgot my birthday was coming. We were vaguely aware it was soon but February ends so quickly and then WHAM it's March and I was like, "Umm, my birthday is now."

When I was working, I took my birthday off from at least one of my jobs if not both. That extra day off provided a distinction between the blur of endless workdays and my birthday. I'm not working so the days are a different kind of blur. Sleep in, stumble to Internet, wash dishes, check mail, try not to slip on ice and die and repeat. I have one major variation and that is the standing board game night we have at a friend's house. David actually plays and I sit around watching TV. Well, my birthday fell on Game Night and since we didn't have any birthday plans I felt bad throwing a hissy fit and demanding that he stay home. David isn't big on surprises so I knew he wasn't going to spring anything last minute.

Anyway, I decided we would buy a cake, take it to Game Night and do a mini-celebration there. The couple and assorted people we game with are really good friends. There is no reason to not celebrate with them. We stopped at the grocery store, scrutinized the bakery and decided to splurge on an ice cream cake. I carried my cake out and as I hit the slushy parking lot tears started to sting my eyes. I held it together and didn't end up weeping mostly because David might have snapped at me, "What are you crying about? I bought you a cake! Isn't that what you wanted?" Please do not think David is mean because he isn't. He's a guy which means he thinks like this: "Wife has birthday. Wife wants cake. Money can be exchanged for goods and services. Acquire cake. Cake acquired. Mission accomplished. Problem solved. No need to cry." I just had a tinge of sadness hit my heart in the parking lot. I would blame it on the crappy weather but sometimes it was rainy on my birthday back in California.

It was just weird to be holding my own birthday cake. Birthday cakes are available in bakeries across the US all the time. But it isn't until you need one do you really see them. Every other day the cakes remain in your periphery. Think about it. Even if it's not your birthday you can buy a birthday cake. Then consume said cake in front of the television with your cat. It doesn't even have to be your birthday. The birthday police aren't going to stop you at the door and take your cake away. Birthdays are special and birthday cakes are special and they both become exponentially less special when you are doing all the work yourself.

David's birthday was about a week after mine. We didn't plan anything but he bought himself a new Zune and it when arrived in the mail there wasn't the least bit of sadness in his heart. There was bit of anger in mine; I really wish he would just buy an iPod.